Wednesday, December 23, 2009
50 Skills Every Girl Should Know!
2. Check her oil
3. Say “No”
4. Navigate a map
5. Perform CPR
6. Maneuver a car out of a skid
7. Get a car unstuck from snow or mud
8. Jumpstart a car
9. Balance a check book
10. Give a firm handshake
11. Comfort someone
12. Throw a football
13. Save money
14. Perform the Heimlich maneuver
15. Use a sewing machine
16. Paint a straight line
17. Iron a shirt
18. Fly a kite
19. Drive a stick shift
20. Parallel park
21. Ride a bike
22. Give a speech
23. Be a good friend
24. Walk and sit correctly in high heels
25. Put furniture together
26. Create and stick to a budget
27. Keep a blog
28. Interview for a job
29. Take the keys from a drunk friend
30. Pick out fresh fruit and veggies at the store
31. Sew on a button
32. Remove a sliver
33. Write a poem
34. Cooperate
35. Know what you want
36. Pitch a tent
37. Walk away from a bad relationship
38. Give her opinion
39. Take a compliment
40. Laugh
41. Love yourself the way you are
42. Take a risk
43. Keep your commitments
44. Organize your time
45. Daydream
46. Handle an emergency
47. Ask for help
48. Proper meal etiquette
49. How to write a thank you note
50. Negotiate
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
See Whip It! By Rosalind Wiseman
Not that you won’t enjoy every minute. Whip It is the Real Girl movie of the year. Its motto: Be your own hero.
The plot: Bliss Cavendar (Page) is a 17 year old reluctant beauty pageant contestant, nudged along by her Good Girl mother (played by the terrific Marcia Gay Harden). Mom is a former beauty queen herself who sneaks smokes to project a Perfect Mom image to her daughter (and undergoes her own transformation in the film). When Bliss watches an all-female roller derby, she’s enthralled. She sneaks off to tryouts and busts into the world of Austin derby.
Bliss’ team, the Hurl Scouts, is Real Girl heaven: women who tell it like it is, don’t care what people think and take up space – literally, by jumping on top of each other. When Bliss apologizes before she speaks in true Good Girl fashion, the team has none of it. “Find that thing that pisses you off,” a teammate advises the timid Bliss, “and use it.” Okay, passion doesn’t have to be driven by anger, but it’s a crystal clear moment of a girl learning how to access power and drive.
I like how parent-positive this movie is. Bliss goes too far with her Mom and gets schooled by one of the Hurl Scouts for being selfish. And it’s Dad who skates away with the film, with his tearjerker line, “I can’t take our daughter missing a chance to be happy.”
Some parents might feel uncomfortable about the sheer brass of these women (with nicknames, for example, like “Jabba the Slut”). Personally, I wish Bliss didn’t have to throw her Good Girl self under the bus in favor of more aggressive behavior. She goes too far when she knocks a popular girl over a railing at school to show off her newfound confidence.
That said, there’s an infectious and heart lifting freedom in the way these women blow through a party, locker room or rink. You will cheer for Bliss when she is literally sprung from the prison of her beauty pageant life by this rollicking pack of women. I dare you to go see this movie and not wonder where you left your last pair of skates.
Bliss displays inspiring confidence with boys, modeling the kind of self-esteem you want your daughter to see on the big screen. An NPR reporter recently pointed out that the last scene between Bliss and her love interest “is so smart and so significant and so legitimately revolutionary given the sensibilities of 99 percent of the movies that depict teenage girls that that scene alone would make it a great gift for your daughter when she turns 13.”
There’s an email pinging around that wonders if “Whip It would have been better off if it was told in reverse: the story of a Roller Derby Girl who made herself over as a Beauty Queen, won the pageant and got the boyfriend in the end.” Great question, but let’s use the time we might have spent wondering and get our butts to the box office. Do it for the girl in your life. If we don’t vote with our wallets, we may lose for years to come.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sticks and Stones
What Girls Do:
Shake their head, roll their eyes
Spread rumors, lies
Ignore someone, give them the "silent treatment"
Use the Internet, texting, email to hurt someone
Use other people to hurt them
Leaving someone out on purpose
Name calling, threatening
Using someone to get what they want
Forcing someone to do something embarrassing in order for them to be part of your crowd
Bullying is when one person of a group of people repeatedly hurt someone else. Bullying usually involves hurting someone who is usually considered weaker or less confident and with less social standing.
Young women tease one another mainly to feel better about themselves. It is a way the perpetrator thinks will make them feel more important and have control over other people. Young women bully to:
- get attention
- get what they want
- gain respect
- become more popular
- feel better about themselves
- punish people they are jealous of
- fit in
Great links on girl-to-girl bullying:
Friday, August 14, 2009
Online Learning and Life Skills
Due to the rapid evolution in computers, each new school year brings more exciting educational possibilities along with new dangers for kids that parents need to worry about. The same technology allows for both. The difference now is that whereas our forebearers once studied tiny one-room classrooms with primers and individual chalk slates, these days our kids have computerized slates that turn the entire planet into a single-room classroom and playground.
But the human problems remain the same. Distractions, bullies, cliques, shunning, cheating, flirting, gossiping, strangers, homework, stupid stunts, and all the rest are now online, too. And since the Internet will grow with them throughout their lives, today's children are just going to have to learn to cope with cyberspace. They are going to have to develop skills for surviving in the electronic schoolyard of the 21st century. Life is still like a high school, it's just a whole lot bigger now.
So parents, don't panic. Those same lessons you learned more through hard knocks and social interactions than in class, about manners, preparation, responsibility, and the values of friendship and the rest still apply. The only thing that's really changed is how the young connect. A lot of that, one way or another, involves the Internet, including texting and chat.
Electronic devices now come in all shapes, sizes, and capabilities. More and more have connections with the Internet, including gaming consoles. Cellphones can surf the Web, using specially served pages for their tiny screens. Even netbooks in schools can be linked, to each other and the Web. There's no escaping it.
Of course, parents and caregivers should seek to protect your charges online. Exposure should be regulated with even more care than TV time, due to the interactive dangers.
The simplest way to make it easier to monitor your kids' Internet activities and limit their time spent online is to place your home computer with Internet access in an open public area, not in a bedroom.
It may not be possible to control their access that way, especially if they're older and have their own netbooks or laptops and you have home wireless. Giving your kids secondary email accounts from your own email account allows some control over their email.
Actively checking the kids' computer out from time to time is a good idea. Everything should be looked at from browsing history to the working state of your firewall- the latter to make sure your budding geniuses haven't disabled it to make online gambling easier to download or to download new and potentially spyware-ridden software.
Staying involved is very important. If you need to get more "Big Brother" about it, there are more gadgets and packages that claim they can help all the time. A few are www.cybersitter.com, www.netnanny.com. These are still controversial. Claims are often made that some sites that should be blocked, aren't and vice versa, or that blocks can be evaded by tech-savvy teens. Internet monitoring with programs such as Webwatcher, www.awarenesstech.com/Parental is also controversial. Though less intrusive than blocking, doing it secretly could raise some real trust issues with your children.
Worried about your kids stealing others? Scare them by letting them know about site like Turnitin, which specialize in spotting plagiarism in papers. If time or access control is a problem when you're not at home, BOB, a "screentime controller" (usebob.com) is a physical lock out device to limit time spent in front of the screen -- computers, TVs, and video games too.
There are also devices to locate kids via cellphones, even notifying parents by email when they wander out of a designated zone, or car GPS units, monitoring location, time parked, and speed. But you may not find these necessary to actually use these products. Just hinting about them to your children may be enough.
However, because you ultimately cannot control their access to the outside world, the best defense for your kids is to teach them safe practices on the Net from an early age -- and of course, to learn them yourself. One good place to start is Kids Safety Online, www.kidsonlinesafety.org , which has lots of links. But if you don't have the time to research them all, from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, comes a quick and simple list of useful rules for keeping the little ones safe on the Internet:
Online Safety Rules for Kids:
- I will not give out personal information such as my address, telephone number, parent's work address/telephone number, or the name and location of my school without my parent's permission.
- I will tell my parents right away if I come across any information that makes me feel uncomfortable.
- I will never agree to get together with someone I "meet" online without first checking with my parents. If my parents agree to the meeting, I will be sure that it is in a public space and bring my mother or father along.
- I will never send a person my picture or anything else without first checking with my parents.
- I will not respond to any messages that are mean or in any way makes me feel uncomfortable. It is not my fault if I get a message like this. If I do, I will tell my parents right away so that they can contact the online service.
- I will talk to my parents so that we can set up rules for going online. We will decide upon the time of the day that I can be online, the length of time I can be online and appropriate areas for me to visit. I will not access these areas or break these rules without their permission.
(SWCP - Southwest Cyberport, www.swcp.com.)
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Believe in NM Girls SLAM Conference
Interested in attending? SAVE THE DATE! CONFERENCE FEES ARE WAIVED FOR GIRLS REGISTERING BEFORE SEPTEMBER 25, 2009!
(registrations are $25.00 for each person registering after September 25, 2009)
October 16-17, 2009
Tentative Agenda:
Friday, October 16, 2009
12:00-1:30 p.m. Tours of Campus and Check In
1:45-3:00 p.m. Opening Ceremonies
3:15-4:30 p.m. Workshops
4:30-7:30 p.m. Girls Street Fair (tentative)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
8:00-10:30 a.m. Girls Career Fair and Breakfast
10:45-12:00 p.m. Workshops
12:00-1:30 p.m. Etiquette Luncheon with Featured Speaker
1:45-3:00 p.m. Workshops
3:15-4:30 p.m. Workshops
4:30-5:00 p.m. Closing Ceremonies
On Saturday, October 17, 2009, the NM Girls Institute will also host an adult seminar on relational aggression. The seminar, taught by Dr. Emily Moore of Social Empowerment Programs of NM, is limited to the first 30 participants who register. The cost of this seminar is $10.00 and is in addition to the $25.00 conference fee (if registering after September 25, 2009).
Emerging Leaders in South Carolina
Following a week of the Emerging Leaders Camp for 24 middle school students who are preparing to take on 9th grade was inspiring. Based on the core values of Courage, Confidence, Commitment and Competence, the girls are inspired throughout the week to set goals and plans to achieve those goals. The girls in attendanec were highly motivated -- with big plans for their futures. I will expect these girls will set things on fire as they continue to aim high and continue their quests.
Dr. Linda Salane, Candy Waites and Carol Vaughn were the epitome of southern hospitality. They are highly committed themselves to their mission -- creating amazing South Carolina women!
Enthused and motivated by their success, the NM Girls Institute will begin looking at creating a similar program -- with our own Southwestern twist! Stay tuned for more information as the NM Girls Institute Leadership Camp takes form!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Depression or Feeling "Blue"
- Know that what you are going through is very common.
- Find a way to relax, such as sitting down and taking a deep breath or taking a shower.
- Talk to your friends, parents/guardians, teachers, counselors or doctors about what you are feeling. They can help you sort through your emotions.
- Get some exercise. When you exercise, your body make more special chemicals called endorphines. Endorphines can help improve your mood.
- Make sure that you get enough rest. Being tired can make you feel more stressed.
There is a big difference between having the blues and having depression. Depression is a serious illness that affects many young people. The good news is that depression can be treated. Make sure to talk to your doctor or school counselor about any worries you have about depression.
How will I know if I have depression?
While some signs of depression can seem a lot like just having the blues, there is a way to know if you need to talk to your doctor about depression. See your doctor about depression if:
you have five or more of the symptoms listed below for at least two weeks, or
any one of these symptoms gets in the way of school or family life.
Symptoms of depression:
- sadness or crying that you can’t explain
- major changes in the way you eat such as not eating or over-eating
- being crabby, angry, worried or nervous
- feeling negative or not caring about anything
- feeling guilty or worthless
- thinking about death or committing suicide
- sleep changes, such as sleeping more or having trouble sleeping
- not being able to focus or make a decision
- not being able to enjoy the things you usually enjoy
- not wanting to spend time with your friends
- feeling restless or tired most of the time
If your doctor decides that you do have depression, there are many ways it can be treated. The important thing is to get help. For more helpful information, check out: Let's Talk about Depression (PDF - 45KB) from the National Institute of Mental Health.
How can I help a friend who is depressed?
With all the changes taking place and new demands on your time, it is normal for you and your friends to feel down sometimes. If you have a friend who has been down for weeks, she or he may be dealing with depression. There are ways you can help. To learn how, check out What to do when a friend is depressed (PDF - 78KB) from the National Institute of Mental Health.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
May is Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month
New Mexico is joining the national activities for
TEEN PREGNANCY PREVENTION MONTH
The biggest event is an interactive online “quiz” for teens. It will be unveiled on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 and runs through the month. Last year almost 300,000 teens around the country took this quiz.
You can help insure that New Mexico tens get involved in this important opportunity. The quiz includes real-life scenarios and storylines that will prompt teens to carefully consider how they would react in risky sexual situations. Many teens still think, “It can’t happen to me.” This activity will help break through that denial and understand that it can happen to them.
The message is simple. Teens must think about the importance of postponing pregnancy and parenthood until they are adults and take action now to protect their futures.
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED – SEX HAS CONSEQUENCES!
This event has been launched by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy in partnership with over 150 prominent national organizations.
For more information or access the quiz, log on to www.teenpregnancy.org
For more information on New Mexico activities, visit the New Mexico Teen Pregnancy Coalition at www.nmtpc.org
You Can Help!
· Spread the word to educators, medical and social service providers, the faith community and local community organizations. Ask them to promote the event.
· Get the word out to teens about the quiz. Help them find internet access for the quiz.
· Encourage your schools and libraries to provide internet access for the quiz.
· Help your local schools develop creative activities for the month of May.
· Publicize May events in your local newspapers and radio.
· Use the month of May to increase awareness about teen pregnancy in your community.
Did you know? New Mexico has the 2nd highest teen birth rate in the US
For more information, contact:
New Mexico Teen Pregnancy Coalition
PO Box 35997, Albuquerque, NM 87176
Phone: (505) 254-8737 s Fax: (505) 254-8741
email: nmtpc@nmtpc.org s www.nmtpc.org
Friday, April 3, 2009
April is National Sexual Assault
Awareness Month!!Ways to Reduce your Risk of Sexual Assault
As with any violent crime, there’s nothing you can do to guarantee that you will not be a victim of sexual violence. But there are many steps you can take to help reduce your risk of being assaulted. Click on the links below to learn some recommended methods to help reduce your risk.
Avoiding Dangerous Situations [1]
While you can never completely protect yourself from sexual assault, there are some things you can do to help reduce your risk of being assaulted.
Computer Safety Procedures [2]
Tips on cache and history cleaning, erasing cookies, and protecting yourself from viruses, spyware, and key-stroke logging.
Find a Safe Computer [3]
Please take a moment to think about whether your computer is safe. This is particularly important if the person abusing you may have access to your computer.
How can I protect my child from sexual assault? [4]
While there is no sure-fire way to protect your child from all dangers, there are some steps that you can take to help reduce the risk of a sexual assault.
If Someone is Pressuring You [5]
If someone is pressuring you, it is important to remember that being in this situation is not your fault...here are some things that you can try.
In a Social Situation [6]
Here are some tips to help reduce your risk of being assaulted in social situations.
Safety Planning [7]
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted or is in an abusive relationship, there are things to consider when thinking about safety.
What can Men Do? [8]
The majority of those who commit sexual assaults are men. Even so, it is important to remember that the vast majority of men are not rapists.
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Thursday, March 26, 2009
New Mexico High School Girls Poetry Contest
Teenage girls – help celebrate National
Women’s Health Week!
The New Mexico Governor’s Women’s Health Advisory Council and the UNM Creative Writing Program are happy to sponsor a poetry contest for girls in Albuquerque high schools.
Ten finalists will be selected by UNM Creative Writing students and those poems will be forwarded to the New Mexico Governor’s Women’s Health Council for judging of three prizes. All ten finalists will receive awards.
PRIZES:
First Place: $100Second Place: $75Third Place: $50
• The three winners will be invited to read their poems at a press conference on Wednesday, May 6th, when the Proclamation for Women’s Health Week is issued.
• Winners and finalists will receive certificates signed by the Governor’s Women’s Health Advisory Council.
• All finalists will be invited to attend a free writing workshop with Emily Morelli and a performance workshop with Jessica Helen Lopez at UNM campus on May 13. And the top three winners will also receive free tuition to make their own wellness journals at a workshop with artists Becky Holtzman and Valerie Roybal on May 10.
SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
• One submission of up to 75 lines (approximately 2 pages) per person.
• Subject Matter: Poems should be about making healthy choices, living in a healthy community, or teen wellness.
• Eligibility: Entrant must be a female student in an Albuquerque area high school.
• Due Date: All entries must be received by April 25, 2009. They should be emailed to nmwellteenprize@gmail.com as .doc or .rtf attachments. At the top of your poem, please include name, email and street address, phone number, the name of your high school and your grade level.
(Questions about submission process may be directed to Lisa Gill at lisannegill at gmail dot com.)
